In Memory

One year ago today I got the phone call that my dear Paw Paw Art passed away in his sleep.  He had a long hard fight with esophageal cancer.  He put up a good fight but in the end it just took over his body.  I miss him so very much.  A year ago I couldn't even think of any good memories of him because it hurt too much.  All I could think of was the misery he was in for his remaining months and how sad I was that he wasn't here for me and how sad I was that he died one week before my wedding.  But now, I think I can actually remember some happy times.  So today, in his honor, I'm going to share 10 of my favorite things/memories of him. 

{photo from my wedding, memory candle and his boutineer}

1. His support: Paw Paw was my #1 fan.  He supported me in every choice and decision I made even if it wasn't the same one he made.  He encouraged me and uplifted me and always let me know it.

2. Nickname:  I may regret saying this but he is the only one who ever gave me a nickname that stuck.  I honestly couldn't tell you a time that he has ever called me "Mandy".  He gave me my nickname when I was learning to crawl and it stuck.  He called me "Scooter" because I would "scoot" around the floor instead of crawl.  Every birthday card, phone call, gift, everything he gave or did he called me "Scooter".  

{photo from my 21st bday at Baby Aculpulco- his favorite place to eat in Austin}

3. His Leadership:  He was a Chief of Police for 18 years of my life.  He was dedicated to his job and worked hard at what he did.  He supported his officers and provided a lot for his area.  In all, he served in the police force in some way or another for over 25 years.  It is an honor to be his granddaughter.

4. His love for his family:  Paw Paw wasn't the kind of person who was mushy or lovey dovey or any of that.  In fact, he didn't he didn't even tell everyone he loved them that often.  BUT, you just knew.  You knew how much he loved his family.  He loved holidays.  He loved when people came to visit him.  He loved to just sit in his recliner and just talk with whoever would listen.  He loved us all so much.

5. His Strength:  I think this goes without saying.  For months he was in pain, thinking it was acid reflux only to learn that he had esophageal cancer.  He went under a fairly routine surgery for a cancer patient and it turned in to a nightmare with spending 10 days in ICU.  He got out of the hospital and started chemotherapy and radiation at a hospital over an hour away from his home.  Not only did he have to stay in a hotel during times of treatment but the chemo and radiation just ate him up and he was miserable.  Eventually the cancer just ate him up and hospice came out.  To go through what he did and to manage to still get up and smile in the morning takes strength and he had it. I envy his strength.


6. The fact that he was a cop:  You know, when his 17 year old grand daughter is driving too fast to a school event, because she is running late, she can call him and tell him how sorry she is and beg him to help her.  Then, after giving her a huge lecture, he tells her how much he loves her, calls the city judge, tell him how awesome his grand daughter is and has the ticket dropped and erased from her record.  Then he tells her this is a one time deal.  Yea... this definitely wasn't me.  :-)

7. His positivity:  He told me from the time I was little I was going to do something big with my life.  Then I decided I wanted to be a doctor.  He pushed me and encouraged me and everything else.  Then pre-med classes at UT kicked.my.ass.  No other way to put it.  I decided that if I couldn't get through pre-med then I wasn't meant to be a doctor and I changed my major and didn't tell anyone when I did it.  I was scared to tell him because I didn't want to disappoint him.  Believe it or not, he wasn't disappointed.  He just started pushing me and encouraging me with my new goal.

{photo from my graduation from UT}

8. His honest talks:  At one point in mine and hubby's relationship we broke up (He soon learned what was good for him, hehe).  When we did, I was devastated because I just knew hubby was the one for me.  The day after I went home to be with my family and to get out of Austin.  I kept crying and we had one of those "talks".  It was only one of two times I had ever seen my Paw Paw cry (the other was when his mom died).  He was just so sad that I was so sad and that I felt like I was "nothing with out him". (dramatic young girl much??)  For me it was an eye opener.  This man I looked up to believed in me like no one else and I had to believe in myself too.

{photo from my 21st Birthday}

9.His loud tv- I can not remember a time he was watching TV and it was at normal decibels.  We always watched it Blaring with him!!  It really makes me laugh thinking about it.

{Photo in front of his loud TV :-) }

10. His love for weird movies- He loved Sci-fi.  Awful, awful, sci-fi movies.  You know the one's where the snake/dragon/lochness monster thing that lives in the river comes out and eats people at night??  Yea... he LOVED those.  Actually, I think he just liked torturing me and making me watch it.  I know he laughed at me.

I miss him.  I love him.  I know he is happy and healthy in heaven and one day we will meet again.  Rest in peace, Paw Paw...